Shiver is possibly the oldest song in my collection; that is, I’ve owned it for longer than any Bowie, any Fitzgerald, any Waits. I’d bought other singles before it, of course – Girl From Mars, Bartender & The Thief, Wannabe – but they were empty purchases, bought on the back of hype or peer approval. Shiver was the first song that was mine.

Being thirteen at the time helped, of course. The sentiment is a mixture of idolatry and confidence so low it borders on self-loathing, spiked on this idea of love as something you should change for in order to receive it rather than something that should change you in the act of giving, run through with a sickly devotion to the underdog, and short changing everyone involved by jumping forward to the seemingly inevitable dissolution of all other competition for the object’s love, despite not actually declaring A CHALLENGER APPEARS, instead settling for a CONTINUE? that counts ever upwards instead of down. It’s Clair de Lune gone rotten from the inside out.

Or, in other words, remember my first crush?

More fool me, I held onto Shiver Love until I was nearly nineteen, over five years of systematically repulsing girls whose emotional maturity naturally exponentially increased with each new never-conquest. I don’t think I ever really kicked the habit until I’d finally come to terms with the fact that I didn’t actually like girls in that way, which came a good while after I’d actively started allowing myself to like guys like that. In the meantime the 00’s quickly moved on, to snarl and stomp and droning cool, with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Interpol, The Strokes and Muse dominating most of my mid-teen listening habits – not that I snarled or stomped or mastered cool, but boy did I ever want to. Cause, y’know, chicks dig that.

I’m not saying that I’ve never since felt a little too lovelorn or pined a little too hard over a guy. But understanding why I couldn’t get past Shiver Love with all my girl-crushes was definitely an act of self-recognition that helped seal me off from what’s happening here in Shiver, a weird desire of wanting to be recognised by someone else for being something you’re not, in order to validate that something in your own eyes, and then maybe get into their pants if they happen to misunderstand you as much as you misunderstand yourself.

In this way the track could almost be an anthem for the sort of attention closeted boys have for girls they think they’re meant to love. Not exclusively of course, but for a self-proclaimed stalker song there’s absolutely zero lust happening. And if you believe I’m overthinking all this, go listen to how the guitar nosedives just before the chorus. Tell me that isn’t a shrinking, a wilting, a promise of empty promises. For all it’s earnestness, the subsequent ‘Don’t you shiver’ might as well be a cold shower. So now when I hear Shiver part of me gives just the biggest rolling of the eyes. Like, whatever, Chris Martin; I don’t care if somehow you managed to bag Gwyneth Paltrow, this is still a rubbish – a beautiful, tingly, really quite lovely yet unutterably rubbish – template for seduction.

Still it’s been eleven years, and this track is always in my 100 most-played, and I still remember where I was when I first heard it, on the top floor of the Belfast Virgin Megastore. That first chord dropped slow like a felled birch tree, notes of scarlet and ochre settling fast only to be kicked about by angry drums and sad, scorned bass, the whole thing a melancholic autumnal tantrum. Before the last note had died I’d gone and purchased Parachutes. It was my first true gooseloop, or at least the first I can remember, and the song certainly remains one of my most consistently reliable triggers of ASMR.

And they say you never really get over your first love.

Coldplay: Shiver

The trailer door opens on smoke so stale it merely oozes into life. Butts spill as fallen sentries across the foldout table, walls all but dripping with enough tar to preserve the sad scene indefinitely. Paul Brent’s ashtray doth runneth over.

“You know where she is,” he says. “Showed enough damn police today.”

The visitor – smells of hospital, dresses like Vegas – moseys on through to the bedroom, while Brent’s fugue briefly lifts, dispelled by an old familiar thrum.

“That a ‘56 T-bird you got out there?”

The driver doesn’t answer, but courteously addresses Susannah’s corpse just so:

“My, oh my.”

Murzik: In Nothing

It is 1998 and Jonas Åkerlund is in Times Square shooting footage for Ray of Light. He has yet to be accused of plagiarism by Stefano Salvati, who will claim Åkerlund’s award-winner takes its visual cues from his own video for Biagio Antonacci, who sounds like Sting but looks like Viggo Mortenson. But for now here’s Jonas, capturing life at regular speed, oblivious to Stefano, and thinking more of what he’s gonna have on his hotdog than Koyaanisqatsi-esque auteurism.

Then, slight as a hummingbird in the New York rush, he hears a riff to blur midday and night:

Spoon: Well Alright

(1998: Spoon are three years old. Madonna is forty. Lady Gaga, for the record, is twelve, making her one year younger than than this song is old today. A second per second can be fast enough.)

Sorbet is a little like the leather bondage of frozen desserts, don’t you think?

You’re secretly not meant to prefer it to the frigonormative ice cream, which contains dairy and is therefore inherently somewhat wholesome. But hold back the white stuff, and what happens? The citrus spectrum, elsewhere smothered under so much gentle lactose, finally gets to throw its bony weight around. Hard booze retains its bite. Vegans get involved which, while not XXX in and of itself, inexplicably tends to act as enabler to harder alternative lifestyles. The texture is rougher. There’s less air.

Sorbet: altogether more adult.

Vienetta: Comfort And Joy

First up: The Showman. You could call this mood The Showgirl but that means entirely the opposite, a point that might irk other girls, more politically correct girls, girls you don’t believe could ever live up to the name even if they didn’t find it as anathematic as they do. While The Showman likes to be the loudest thing to enter a room, it’s usually as fanfare or prophet, to say here comes So-and-so or Such-and-such, as if it were possible to tenderise So’s or Such’s shyness with your raucus bangs and whoops, to make them more palatable for the party.

This rarely ever works; when you’re like this it’s usually best to get you just a little drunk as fast as possible. The Showman soon totters under the bleachers – and Boudica takes the ring.

Karandila Orkestar – Fiesta

So I’m in Poland right now racking up some juicy work experience bonus points with Bang Bang Design. I’ve been here just over 32 hours and have already run through the chirping countryside of Gdansk, watched three primary-coloured Quasimodos flail about in a sea of blue silk, made an attempt on an unsuspecting intermediate-to-advanced torture chamber climbing wall, got oxter-deep in the visual language of personal spiritual energy garden pyramids, burgled my own luggage with a circular saw, made a handful of sweet, dobry, generous friends, tasted the reddest strawberries of summer, and learnt, among other things, some of which are quite unsanitary, how to say ladybird.

I’ll endeavour to keep updating semi-regularly, zaś nie obiecanka!

Pishap… psheeprosh… psshehschresha…

Oh, bugger that. Have some music instead.

Poland – Your Sunday Book

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